I decided to go behind some bedroom doors and hear it from the horse’s mouth, their take on erotic content, specifically adult films. I interviewed two married couples and here’s what they had to say from a perspective of over thirty-five collective years of matrimonial experience.
N’TYSE: It’s time to clear the steamy air. I realize this conversation is long overdue so I’m going to jump right in. What is your stance on erotic content in the bedroom? To be more specific…adult films.
Stephen & Lauren Johnson (Los Angeles, CA) Stephen: Man, for me it’s exciting. If both partners are comfortable, it should be enjoyable. Lauren: I disagree with it. I believe certain adult content has a place for the bedroom. I make my own pornographic video. Commercial porn is a turnoff.
Marshon & Krystal Greer (Dallas, TX): It’s fun, informative, a turn-on, and it can be used as a sexual bond for you and your spouse. This is where you learn what each other like.
N’TYSE: As a married couple, how exactly does it improve your sex life? Curious minds want to know.
Stephen & Lauren Johnson (Los Angeles, CA) Stephen: You learn new ideas and engagements. For instance, if you see a certain position performed it can be fun trying it with your partner. Lauren: It doesn’t for me. I feel like my husband has to look at some skinny girl to get off with me. It makes me feel as though he’s not attracted to me anymore.
Marshon & Krystal Greer (Dallas, TX): We feel watching porn together adds spice and kinkiness to our relationship. It allows us to try new things and positions. Through porn, it’s almost an open platform to better express to my mate my needs, wants, hidden fantasies and desires without having to be afraid.
N’TYSE: I’m totally for turning up the kink in a relationship and keeping things spicy, but are there any drawbacks when you engage in visual erotic content?
Stephen & Lauren Johnson (Los Angeles, CA) Stephen: It may become overwhelming if porn is present during every sexual activity. Lauren: Feeling like I’m not attractive or I’m not enough for my husband is the drawback for me.
Marshon & Krystal Greer (Dallas, TX): Krystal: It can be addictive. You may be expected to do everything they do in the video/movie, which never hurts when it comes to pleasing your mate. It also opens your mind to other ideas that are generally frowned upon. Lust and temptation is part of it, but this is where communication and a clear understanding between the two of you come in.
N’TYSE: Is engaging in “porn” with your spouse giving them permission to look at other women/men?
Stephen & Lauren Johnson (Los Angeles, CA) Stephen: Absolutely not. You’re watching an adult movie, not trying to get with anybody. Lauren: Yes. Some men would rather masturbate to porn than to make love to their woman. So for me it’s cheating if he would rather do that than express that affection with me. I’m his wife.
Marshon & Krystal Greer (Dallas, TX): Marshon: No, not at all, because you are watching someone on TV. It’s no different than watching a movie. The only difference is that person is naked. A man/woman is going to lust either way it go. If a couple agrees to watch porn together, they should have fun doing it. Krystal: A man will be a man! They look regardless if you’re around or not. I’m not an insecure chick. That’s why it is extremely important to be anything and everything your man fantasizes about, that way, he may look at other women, but he knows his woman at home can do whatever anyone else can do, but even better.
N’TYSE: Now keep it all the way real with me. What would your reaction be if you caught your spouse watching sex tapes without you?
Stephen & Lauren Johnson (Los Angeles, CA) Stephen: No reaction at all. Lauren: I have caught my husband and I went off! It’s disrespectful.
Marshon & Krystal Greer (Dallas, TX): Marshon: It wouldn’t bother me at all. Krystal: I would join him! Apparently he needs something that ordinary television cannot give. That’s the best time to let that inner freak come out. I think too many sexual restrictions in a relationship can drive anyone to cheat.
N’TYSE: Some couples believe engaging in pornography is a form of cheating. What do you think?
Stephen & Lauren Johnson (Los Angeles, CA) Stephen: I don’t believe that to be. If that was the case, then I’ve cheated on my wife not just with porn stars, but with ordinary movie actresses. Lauren: Highly agree. It’s cheating no matter how you slice it.
Marshon & Krystal Greer (Dallas, TX): Marshon: If you are watching it together how is it cheating? If you are watching it alone, well I still believe it isn’t cheating. To me it’s just a movie, and it’s another way for people to engage in their own fantasy. It just might make them desire their spouse even more. Krystal: I don’t feel like it’s cheating. I feel like it’s a quick fix. If a man has to watch porn and relieve himself to keep from cheating, it’s much better than him going out and committing the actual act.
N’TYSE: Is there anything else you would like to add?
Stephen & Lauren Johnson (Los Angeles, CA) Stephen: As a married man, I believe porn can be enjoyed by both partners as long as they are in agreement. Lauren: To each its own. Some people love watching sex tapes and if that works for them and their spouse, more love for them, but me and mine, I better not catch him, again!
Marshon & Krystal Greer (Dallas, TX): Marshon: Porn has caused many relationships to falter. I say if both parties agree on it, they should jump in and have fun. You never know, you just might learn something new. Krystal: Live a little and try something new. Too many people assume they know how to please their lover. There’s nothing wrong with believing that, but make sure your partner can say the same.
Check out Part 1 here: http://www.kontrolmag.com/generation-sex-twisted-topics/
N’TYSE (@ntyse) is the national bestselling erotic romance author of Twisted Seduction and Twisted Vows of Seduction (Strebor/Simon & Schuster) and executive producer of the documentary feature film Beneath My Skin. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org