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Hey Mikey- “Blue Pill Christmas”

Hey Mikey,

So first of all, Merry Christmas brother! I like your site and advice. Keep up the good work! As you know, yesterday was Christmas and for the most part it was good. I was really blessed this year and was able to get my parents, siblings, girlfriend, nieces, and nephews some really nice gifts. Everyone took care of me too–including my girlfriend. Her gift I feel went a little too far though. It was a prescription of Viagra! I opened it in front of my family thinking it was a new hand controller for my X-Box, or that dark Dolce & Gabbana I told her I really like. But no! There it was, and I unwrapped it in front of my entire family. I was visibly upset and embarrassed and I could see in my family’s faces they felt the same way for me. My girlfriend just popped up off the sofa, hugging me saying now we can have some ROCK HARD Fun! I’m like what the f***!? I’m only thirty-seven and we’ve never gone less than thirty to forty-five minutes when we’re having sex. The way I reacted to her was giving her the cold shoulder and silent treatment for the rest of the night. We even got in an argument this morning because she wanted me to take one of those little blue pill bastards. How can’t she see this isn’t cool? I’m ready to drive her ass back to Mississippi! What should I do? What would you do?

-Embarassed As Sh**

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***Embarassed As Sh** I’d like to wish you a belated Merry Christmas too. I’m sorry you holiday was ruined by this sole inappropriate act. Let me be clear she is absolutely out of line! That is not the type of thing you gift to anyone, especially at a family gathering. What if you had given her something to make her vaginal area moist, or some sex toy in front of her dear old mom and dad? i’m sure the reaction would have been far less fun or funny. What I would do is not important. I do not handle embarrassment well and she would be dropped off at some random MARTA spot on Atlanta’s West Side. Now, as for you, explain the situation to her from your point of view. Let her know the anger, embarrassment, and disappointment you and your family felt when you opened your gift. Go on to explain to her that your sex life is restricted to your bedroom or home and is not to paraded around family and friends, no matter how comfortable you feel around them. Take those “little blue pill bastards,” as you so affectionately call them and send them to the watery grave in your toilet. I surely hope this will not be a make or break issue for the two of you. If it is, it is her loss! Trust me the water is again your gateway to happy days, it contains plenty of fish who will not need help from a bottle of pills to get off!

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡

 

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