I have been trying to reunite my family for the last five years. Since my parents’ divorce they have only been in the same room once; and that’s when my twin brother and I graduated from high school. I just bought my first house and decided to have a family dinner, and they both agreed to come, albeit reluctantly. My brother promised to behave too. He has issues with my father. He left our mother for another woman and has been really angry with him ever since. Dinner was great, at first. My parents laughed, talked, and caught up with each other. It was like they were never married or divorced, but old friends reuniting after years apart. I was really happy. My brother, however, took it upon himself to invite my father’s mistress over for dessert!
Immediately the night went south. My mother became emotional and left. My father was choked up with anger and disgust and my brother was as smug as ever. That whole debacle took place six months ago. I’m about to have a baby shower and again my parents have agreed to come, but I’ve decided not to invite my brother. He and my mother feel like I am out of line for not including him. Naturally, I want my twin there, but I also want to be able to have both my parents there to celebrate their first grandchild. My brother won’t even promise that he won’t be up to any shenanigans. What should I do? I’m just trying to have my family together with no issues.
-Nervous Mommy To Be
***Nervous Mommy To Be, I applaud your efforts in trying to bring your family together for momentous events and attempting to facilitate healing between your parents. However, you have to accept you may never have the family you had before your parents’ divorce. This is not necessarily due to any contention between your parents, but your brother’s issues with your father. To put it simply, he has NO CHILL. What he did was downright dastardly and he deserves a cracked jaw! Nervousness is never good for any mother, especially an expecting one. The fact that he cannot look beyond his own issues to make an important day in your life a happy one, means he does not deserve to be there. It will be up to your mother to decide if she wants to come or not, but honestly your baby shower is about you and your baby. So enjoy your day and leave the unresolved family issues for a shrink. Congrats!
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