Written By: Tiara Shae

Are you currently “attracted” to someone who is way off your radar? Are you noticing that guys that you wouldn’t think twice to swerve on are actually looking intriguing? Are Stevie Js looking like Idris Elbas right before your eyes? Here are some signs that you may be forcing yourself to like someone that you really aren’t into.

1. You like the perks, not the person: Let’s say you meet a guy that is intrigued by you but you never give him the time of day. You notice that he’s doing things special for you that he doesn’t normally do for others. Instead of being touched by the meaning behind the gesture (him liking you), you’re touched by just the gesture alone (the free cup of coffee, daily compliments, etc…). When you’re in a lonely place and it appears that they are the only ones giving you any attention, you start to think that the universe is telling you to go for it. No! Stay focused on you. Remind yourself that you are in a transitional period and need to be with yourself. Don’t get yourself tangled up in a messy randevú because he’s giving you freebies. (However, enjoy your freebies.)

2. You Don’t Feel Nervous Around Them: Usually when you have a crush on someone, no matter how confident you are, you get a little case of the butterflies. This usually happens when your target is easy. Definitely take the time out and evaluate why you are randomly attracted to this easy target. Have you tried to go for someone you really want and got crushed? It happens. Don’t settle for less!  Rejection is hard, but do hang in there. Your “yes” man is on his way. Don’t waste your time and energy on easy fillers.

3. They Are Far From Meeting Your Standards: “He doesn’t have a car, but maybe he will?” No. “He lives with his mom because he wants to, not because he has to.” NO. “He has a ton of followers on Instagram…that has to mean he’s ‘somebody’.” NO! If you’re making up random excuses as to why you should give him a try and he obviously doesn’t meet your standards, stay clear. Give him the time when he does meet your standards. The attention is nice, I’m sure, but you are worth everything you desire. Tell your “crush” what you want in a man, and tell him to find you when he meets your demands. (HA! That rhymed.) If he is really for you, he might just handle his business to make himself worthy enough for you. Until then, don’t make excuses for why you have to like him.

There are several other ways to tell that you are just not that into someone, but they all tie into the same lesson. Be 100% with yourself. You are most likely gravitating towards the wrong people to fill a void. It’s easier said than done, but fill your own void! Treat yourself like you want the man of your dreams to treat you. Don’t get tangled up in someone unworthy of your attention!