Got Fresh Meat? Scotch Porter Brings Men Masculine Wipes

Fresh Meat
Courtesy of Scotch Porter

There’s nothing better than having fresh meat, and we’re not talking about your ordinary pork, beef, chicken, or fish. We’re talking about that man meat. Men’s grooming product company, Scotch Porter has developed Fresh Meat masculine wipes to help men freshen up their “Meatpacking District.”

Fresh Meat masculine wipes are basically sanitary napkins for men. Though they were great to help mean freshen up their junk, the wipes can be used on your face, armpits, or any funky body part. However, their specialty is to get the funk and sweat off your sausage and meatballs.

All jokes aside, musty and sweaty private areas is a major issue among men. Even if you’re the type a guy who takes two showers a day, that still might not be enough to combat funkiness around ur junk. Especially, if you’re a very active guy. Men’s private areas are already naturally suspectable to funk since their junk sits all day in their underwear, covered by their pants; where it’s warm and moist. That everyday scenario makes it easy for bacteria and funk to occur.

It gets worse if you’re an active guy because sweating increases the likely hood of that area getting hotter and moister. Realistically, not every guy has time to take a shower after a recreational game of basketball or a quick workout. But with Fresh Meat wipes, a couple of quick strokes can get men ready to continue their day.

The Fresh Meat masculine wipes consist of aloe, and vitamins B&E (no Paraben, Phthalate, Chlorine, Formaldehyde, Alcohol, or any other wack items) so the wipes are gentle and good for your most sensitive skin.

Fresh Meat
Scotch Porter Fresh Meat Masculine 40ct pack, $5.99

We tested these wipes extensively and fell in love with them. Not to give out to much detail but our meat loved them too. After use, it leaves the area feeling clean and fresh. It’s just as simple as taking a washcloth, wetting it, and rubbing it around the area. The only difference is that you’re just doing the rubbing and nothing else. They also have a faint scent to help the area smell fresher.

The only downside of the product is that it isn’t as strong as it needs to be. Meaning that even though a sanitary wipe shouldn’t feel like a paper towel or washcloth, it the wipe was too delicate. For example, the first one out the pack tore immediately when we attempted to pull it out. It should probably be the same consistency as a baby whip, which is soft but durable.

Additionally, the wipes are very easy to dispose of. They can be thrown away or flushed down the toilet without clogging. We highly recommend using Fresh Meat masculine wipes to keep your meat clean and fresh throughout the day.

Martel Sharpe

Martel is a writer in Atlanta, who's cooler than a polar bear's toenail. He loves reading, writing, and brunch. Reach out to Martel through email, martel.kontrolhomme@gmail.com or follow him on Instagram and Twitter @markopolowe.