“Finally got a selfie after taking thirty pics” ~ Fabolous, “Thim Slick”
While the song “Thim Slick” by Fabolous and Jeremih has a line contributed to women taking multiple pics before identifying their IG selfie, what about us fellas? Don’t we do certain things that are similar or are they just never talked about?
The world of black men taking selfies….
Now before we start, just remember this is aimed to give us guys something to think about and a little comical usage. The need to take this seriously is about as funny as believing that Kevin Hart is going to grow anymore vertically.
Guys, we all follow some of our male friends, male celebrities or whoever who just happens to have a relationship with Andis clippers and the closest gym.
While GQ has their own list, let’s compile our own shall we?
The “I Be Working” selfie:
Lance Gross shows his followers that “hey, a brotha gotta job and is all about that set life” which is fine. Talk about your work as much as you want, but try to make sure some evidence of that is actually apart of your picture. We don’t want to keep seeing pics of you saying, “I’m bout to get this money” and your background is at a damn Footlocker purchasing some Retro 1’s. In other words, let your captions make sense with your pics.
The “Look Where I’m At And Where You Ain’t” selfie:
We all know we like seeing our colleagues go on vacations, checking out eateries, beaches, plane rides, anything that denotes a moment of adventure. Hooray for you! When doing this, showcase the actual enjoyment. Let your followers take notice that “carpe diem” is more than just a phrase, but your current lifestyle. And for the life of your own credibility, try not to steal other people’s pictures and photoshop or posting it as your own. BallerAlert.com has no problem putting you on blast. **that sarcastic emoji inserted here**
The “I Wanna Be Cute Enough For You To Like Me” selfie:
For all you guys out there who were blessed with more of a physical appeal, thank God for your parents and the fans who love you. Duck lips are commonly referenced to girls, but some of us go the extreme. We don’t mind you taking your best pic that makes you “appear” to live up to your looks or melt women’s hearts with animals and “yo sister’s baby”, but ummm…you don’t look like that every day. If you’re going to make a “funny face” then again, let your caption match the tone versus so much attention being drawn into one focal point. We’re pretty sure that one of your followers is having naughty thoughts about your duck lips. **sighs**
The “I Want To Record Myself” selfie/video:
This is a safe and secure method when uploading to IG. Introduce what’s going on around you or your thoughts for the moment, but make sure the content surrounds the point of your video. Again, we don’t want to hear you talking about how great a Luda song is but T.I. or Nelly is in the background.
The”Look At My Body Because I’m Into Fitness But I’m Setting Up Thirst Traps On The Low”:
Brace yourself because this is going to take a minute to break down. Some of us played sports and continued hitting the gym and getting gains since then, some of us dealt with other activities and started to notice that over time, we could take a shirtless pic and get some likes.
Forget the “no
homo” clause, let’s get real. Fellas, we all know that we have those friends who hit the gym and probably have a face to match their “results.” We get it, you’re the “nice looking homie” or the one who has a gym body, an “okay” face yet people want you for all the wrong reasons. Or, you’re too busy compensating for years lost from your life of not getting attention. Hey, it happens!
Now granted we all gain from the “attractive homie” when we’re out in public, we don’t always want to see your “look at my gains,” or “my nipple slipped out of my shirt while at the gym” on our timeline. Like really, the caption bra? #SMH
Be proud of your body and it’s genetics, keep telling the world how good your breakfast (turkey bacon and strawberries) is yet you’re shirtless with all 6 or 8 abs showing while in some basketball shorts, Nike black slide ins with the white swoosh sign, footies, and a damn Herbalife shake in the background. Or one of those inspiring quotes by some renown author, but you’re getting ready to do squats. Ummm, what the heck are we suppose to learn from that? Is the quote going to make your chest jump or your calves get big?
Sure, you’re inspiring some of your male followers to want to hit the gym, but take into consideration your comment section or DMs. Heck, ain’t some of y’all dating someone special?
While this may not be heavily important, some people pay attention to your IG page before trying to approach you if they have an interest. The last thing most people want to see or notice is how many suitors who admire your body or desire you. We’re not saying it’s bad to be wanted because we all want someone to want us, but some of us set up thirst traps knowing people are going to look under a superficial guise.
And they ain’t looking so they can find out the keys to your heart. Their looking because they want to find the keys for the night and test drive what you keep showing off cause Herbalife has such an amazing taste as you chug it down showing off the v-shape of your abdomen below. Don’t act like you don’t already know.
Overall, we’re grown men so we can do as we please, but being “grown” isn’t an excuse to take any selfie you want. Take your best pics, but remember what you’re putting out their for your followers.