Written by: Langston John Blaze
I’d never been in a relationship before. Every time I told a friend, I got this jerk-my-head-back-and-frown reaction, followed by, “Whaaat!?” or “Really, why?” The real reason was I kept choosing the wrong guys. They were either indecisive or rebound friendly (also known as someone who recently got out of a relationship and entertains anyone they’re attracted to) or they were players, enjoying their single status. In the past, I never realized I could be having casual sex with someone…long term, and it never turn into a commitment. There was casual dating, casual clothes, casual sex, but there was no such thing as casual love. I’d learned that the hard way.
Meanwhile, although I’d been having issues building up the nerve to communicate with guys, I was slowly building myself back up again. One day, I had an epiphany that I wanted to go out on a date with Drew Spencer. Drew was a sexy southern Georgia resident, who often visited Atlanta for events. He was 5’10, 32 years old, and an incredible chef, who had recently been given a job promotion in D.C. he wasn’t sure about taking. I knew dating long distance was the greatest setup for failure, but why make it complicated when I didn’t know what it was going to be?
Drew and I had spoken casually via social networks. We seemed to enjoy a lot of the same things in movies, clothes, and hanging out. He was a total nerd when it came to old 90’s movies and I loved that about him. That evening, I had not build up the nerve to call him, but I surprised him when asking him out on a date via text. He had all of these analytical questions before answering. “You’re beautiful, tall, smart, and young. Why do you want to date me?” he questioned. I responded, “I’m interested in knowing what a friendship with someone I’m attracted to would be like. We’ve been talking off and on now. I want to know more about you.”
It was honest. Two years ago, Drew and I met in person for the first time at a club in Atlanta. We exchanged a few friendly words. However, in weeks time, I learned he was somewhat dating another guy I communicated with here and there named Brian. To sum up Brian’s bio on him, he told me Drew was sneaky. On one occasion, Brian and Drew were talking on the phone and Drew abruptly ended the conversation with, “I gotta go! He just got home,” the he referring to Drew’s former boyfriend. I knew better than to take a person’s version of a story as fact but if Drew was quote on quote sneaky, at least he would not blindside me.
From my knowledge, Drew was currently single. Through our text messaging, he seemed open, admitting to being a “flirt”. I had no problem with that. I knew I was the same way. Yet, in general, I did express to him that I was interested in a friendship-relationship. I wanted something platonic that had the potential for something committed. Drew and I seemed to be on the same page. That night, he agreed to go out on a date with me and the morning that followed, I woke up to a handsome photo of him on my cell phone. It was a refreshing beginning. I wasn’t expecting a “They lived happily ever after” conclusion. For now, casually ever after was just fine.