Just to let you know: there is a such thing as a Male Biological clock.
There are a lot of things us men refuse to portray or admit…
Do we get manicures and pedicures? I most definitely don’t, but there are a lot of men who do.
Do we gossip? Hell yeah, but I consider it as aggressively being informative.
Do we worry about becoming fathers and starting a family? Yes, and for the past few years, I’ve had the urgency to hear the phrase, “Oh, Barshea? That’s just my baby daddy.”
Why has a young, single, 27-year-old (28 in August), like myself, been worrying about bringing another life into this world? Aside from me searching for control and consistency in my life; a few days ago, my closest cousin called to break the news that he was about to become a father. Son of a bitch! Although, this is great news and I am beyond happy for him, but…dammit! I thought I had time.
You see, I come from a family of very masculine, “manly-men”, and most of their greatest achievements have been to father children. This stems from slavery, when having a child gives a man pride and honor. No, my dad never raised the question, “Son, when are you gonna make me a granddad?” He had greater aspirations for my brothers and I than fatherhood. He raised us to pursue our goals and talents.
On the other hand, my grandfather never hesitated to ask, “Barshea, when you gon’ have some kids?” I’ve had my slip-ups…twice.
Anyway, I thought I had time. My cousin gave me time. He’s a few months older than me, and I figured since he didn’t have any children I’d be cool. No pressure. But that’s about to change.
I might be worried about the wrong things (I guarantee my dad is going to tell me that after reading this). Hell, all the people I know who have kids had to sacrifice their individually to do so. Honestly, I do feel time is running out. I’ll be thirty in two years, and I don’t want anyone to think some funny business is going on. That’s a joke I don’t find to be funny.
On the bright side, without kids, I had the freedom to move away. I am now pursuing a promising career in writing and acting. My family is beyond supportive of that. They are hopeful and optimistic that I will become successful in that aspect. To them, I’m going to “make it”. I wouldn’t want to let the people down who truly believe I can do this shit. Maybe fame will come before family.
#SheaWisdom What’s for someone else will NOT be for you. The cards you’ve been dealt are different. Play YOUR hand.