First, hats off to both Kontrol’s Executive Director, Levar Kemp, for the beautifully creative image above and John Boone and E! Online for the beautifully-accurate, genuinely entertaining article All of the Disney Princesses, Ranked for inspiring this article.
E! ranked each of the Disney princesses from lowest to highest, but only the princesses although they did pay their honorable respects to Nala from The Lion King and Meg from Hercules. Anyway, after reading the article I was inspired to go even further with the idea of modern day Disney Princesses. As I laughed my way through each description of the princesses, I couldn’t help but to notice how much the descriptions sounded like real celebrity stars–and I just couldn’t let the idea fly away!
Find out which Disney Princess and Celebrity Star make the perfect characteristic match!
For Snow White, E! Comments:
Honestly, only one person could come to mind–but ‘eghhh’ considering the caliber of celebrities on this list, at least she made the cut. Snow White would be… Nicki Minaj. Sorry Nicki, there was a VERY close runner-up, but we’ll get back to that.
For Aurora, E! comments:
She’s not a bad princess, per se. She might actually be the prettiest of all the princesses. That hair? Flawless. But she’s asleep half the movie! Pretty…but so, so boring. Sleeping Beauty was all about Maleficent anyway (which is probably why the new movie is straight-up just called Maleficent—they finally got it right).
I agree with E!’s view of Aurora and there’s one celebrity I’d say definitely fits that description. Although she is absolutely stunning and her hair is always flawless… she’s not that boring, her career compared to the star who’s career she’s normally in the shadows of, Aurora would be… Kelly Rowland.
For Anna, E! writes:
Again, Anna isn’t necessarily a bad princess. She’s charming. We would build a snowman with her. But she is grossly overshadowed by a far superior princess in Frozen: Elsa. Plus, Anna got engaged to a guy she knew him for, like, two hours. Are you kidding me?
We feel the same way about this next person as we do for Kelly. She’s a great talent, very charming and although she’s not grossly overshadowed and she though she waited longer than two hours to get married, her year-long wedding to Russell Brand made one hell of a buzz. Anna would be… Katy Perry.
For Rapunzel, E! wrote:
Rapunzel was dangerously naive. Like, the most naive of all the naive princess. Which, yes, one should expect from someone who spent her entire life locked in a tower. But that means when Rapunzel was finally out in the world, she had to rely on a random dude to rescue her.
Dangerously naive–those two words alone gave me a perfect match. I could imagine if Flynn Ryder hadn’t found out that Rapunzel was The Lost Princess, she might have ended up like this good girl gone bad. Although she wasn’t locked in a tower, being a child star is no part-time gig! Her random dude hasn’t quite come to save her, but she’s definitely getting ‘out in the world’ and most of us still love her… You guessed it–Rapunzel would [eventually] be… Miley Cyrus.
For Pocahontas, E! wrote:
It’s safe to say that Disney took a few creative liberties with this one. Pocahontas is the most historically inaccurate of all the princesses. Which is almost not fair to compare, since she is based on a real person and The Little Mermaid is mostly likely not. Anyway, the best thing about Pocahontas really was the posse she rolled with, especially Meeko and Grandmother Willow. Shout-out to Grandmother Willow.
Okay, so hear me out.. you could definitely say that creative liberty is putting things mildly in regards to this star. Jumping to the best thing about Pocahontas being who she rolled with.. this star’s posse definitely gives her plenty of “street cred”. Believe it or not, Pocahontas would be… Willow Smith. Shoutout to Will and Jada.
For Mulan, E! wrote:
Mulan could kick all of our asses. She may have been brave long before Brave, but… [to be continued]
One word… P!nk.
For Merida, E! wrote:
[ continuing from Mulan’s comment] …Merida does not subscribe to your gender norms. GIRL POWER. YOU DON’T NEED A MAN.
First, if you’ve never seen brave then you’re truly missing a treat. Merida is Brave beyond belief and girlfriend is about her business and plays zero games! Merida’s strong spirit only gave me the impression of one incredible star. Merida would be… Aaliyah.
For Cinderella, E! wrote:
Sure, Cinderella was absolutely princematized by Charming (not a good look, girl), but she’s a classic. She is the ultimate rags-to-riches story. And to this day, we still wish a bunch of critters would come dress us every time we wake up. That sounds so helpful.
Okay, this one shouldn’t be hard to guess. Princematized, check. Classic? Enghh. The ultimate rags-to-riches story. If that doesn’t give it away, how about a little remix on the last part:
…and to this day, we still wonder how a mediocre sex-tape got her where she is today. That sounds so helpful.
Cinderella would definitely be… Kim Kardashian. She comes with the two sisters, too!
For Tiana, E! wrote:
Almost the exact opposite of Cinderella, Tiana’s narrative doesn’t rely on marrying a prince (the prince she does marry almost doesn’t even count. He’s poor). Tiana has a plan. She has a career and a paycheck and probably a 401(k). She’s fiscally responsible. This is abusinesswoman. Lean in!
This one is my favorite. It’s so nail on the head. This star definitely doesn’t need to rely on marrying a prince because her plan is WERKING! Her career is booming and a businesswoman she absolutely is. E! Got it right, lean in because Tiana would be… Janelle Monáe.
For Jasmine, E! wrote:
She had a pet tiger! That is so cool!
She posed as Medusa and made it look effortlessly flawless. She’s our favorite bad gal, yet. Jasmine would be… Rihanna.
For Elsa, E! writes:
Technically, Elsa is a queen and was only a Disney princess for the very beginning of theFrozen movie, but we’re including her anyway because she’s a badass. She’s also the only one with powers (bonus points), and obviously the fiercest of all the princesses. Whip that braid around, Queen E!
Just like Elsa, this star doesn’t quite belong to the group of celebrities listed, “but we’re including her anyway because she’s a badass.” She’s definitely known for being the fiercest in her fame. Calm down, calm down… here she is, KING BEY.
For Ariel, E! wrote:
Ariel was naive, a quality we have faulted other princesses for—trading your voice for a pair of legs? You got a raw deal, babe. But she was half-fish, so what do you expect? Also, Ariel didn’t settle for her ignorance, this little mermaid wanted to learn. She had dreams and goals and other whozits and whatchamacallits. Mostly though, Ariel had the best songs.
This star is definitely sounding like Ariel. She’s definitely conceived as naive, but she clearly has shown that she’s willing to learn and has some big goals for her career. Now, I don’t know about her having the best songs.. and she didn’t trade her voice for a pair of legs, but she may have traded her singing career for the marriage and a baby! Ariel would be… Ciara.
For Belle, E! wrote:
Belle was the least vain of the princesses. She didn’t ask for much, she just wanted more than this poor, provincial life. She’s relatable—or as relatable as a cartoon can be—and a good role model. Also, and most importantly, BECAUSE SHE CAN READ.
Ah, she’s just a breath of fresh air. Wanting more than this poor, provincial life.. she’s a role model, an inspiration, and the People’s Most Beautiful Woman in the World. Belle is none other than… Lupita Nyong’o.
Well, there you have it! I hope you had as much fun reading this entry as I had making it! Did you agree or disagree with the celebrity comparisons? What celebrities came to your mind as you read E!’s comments on each princess? Be sure to share your thoughts in a comment below!