Dating Confessions Vol. 18: Pretty To Be Dark Skin

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By: Sebastien “@TheGayBestie” Gaudin


Initially, I was entertaining the idea of discussing “Jungle Fever” other known as interracial dating, but in my research I came across the color complex amongst blacks. Growing up as a dark skin black gay male in America the least of my worries was the shade of my skin tone. Unlike some of my female counterparts I’ve never had that issue.


I can attest to having girlfriends who’ve had difficulties with their skin tone and resorted to outlandish solutions. For example, using products like skin lightening black soap and layers of lighter toned make up to see a difference. Sadly, this is common in the black community, but why?


Are we really that hungry for acceptance that there is a need to change our physicality to be loved?


Apparently there is a theory of “acting light skin” that I was unaware of, meaning that lighter skin blacks hold themselves to high petal stool. Truth be told this is simply the slave mentality that’s still lingering in 2014. How dare we hold on to such a mindset or allow ourselves to believe in a made up theory of acceptable beauty.


I once heard, “ignorance is bliss”, but I see today’s media praises ignorance if anything. Allowing this to continue will only derives the direction we’ve been striving for. This attitude only trickles down to the mentality of our children. If it’s never been clear enough before its time to crush the cycle.


For a man to devalue you based on the color of your skin understand he’s not one to ever entertain. A guy who allows society to determine the type of woman he loves is one who isn’t strong enough to stand on his own. Do yourself the favor and pass on that ass.


Most importantly love has no color, gender, malice, or limitation. Love is love!




As a New Jersey native it came as no surprise when Sebastien, birthed a knack for talking and writing. During his college days the young blogger gained experience through international talkers such as The Maury Show and The Mo’nique Show. After years of interning and assisting the aspiring journalist threw caution to the wind and launched The Gay Bestie, LLC.  


The lifestyle and culture company provides a different spin on love, sex, relationships, and fashion.  #TGB focuses on the 21st Century woman and her loyal companion, other known as the gay bestie. Readers will find discussions that are usually held behind closed doors placed in the forefront to totally meet the needs of all. No, topic is ever off limits.


So ladies brace yourselves because Sebastien is taking you places where you’ll be sure to blush and share a laugh! He’s giving exactly what’s been missing. Grab you’re favorite beverage (i.e. red wine), sit back, and prepare to gab about this with your girlfriends the minute you see them.

Thanks !

Thanks for sharing this, you are awesome !

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