Reality star Devyne Blessings of OWN network’s “Ready to Love” sits down with Kontrol Magazine to share lessons from the show and top secrets to dating.
Ready to Love
Devyne Blessings is a classic Washington, DC woman living in Atlanta. Her elegant, professional, polished presence pairs with a jovial, lighthearted, down-to-earth soul that is magnetic. While working in senior management for corporate America and practicing real estate, Devyne was a memorable contribution on “Ready to Love”. Her role expanded her platform and launched her brand as a mentor for those seeking answers about dating and relationships. She presented so many wonderful pearls of wisdom that it is appropriate that we jump right into the interview.
The Interview
ME: Thank you so much for meeting with me. We’ve run into each other at events, but I’m grateful to get a chance to ask you some deeper questions than in passing.
DB: I’m definitely glad to interview with Kontrol Magazine and get a chance to talk with the “Love Coach” himself.
ME: Today is all about. How did you get into the business of love?
DB: Long before I ever went on “Ready to Love”, I was in quite a few relationships and served as a therapist and counselor to my friends about theirs. The show only accentuated my thoughts and approach to love. It gave me a greater audience for something I did on a smaller scale.
ME: That sounds like a wonderful positive aspect of the show. What was challenging about being on such a public platform?
DB: The show publicized the dating structure. It shed light on how men and women move when other people are in the picture.
ME: There were love triangles and people dating multiple people.
DB: That’s true, but most people expect someone to be dating someone else if they just meet them. You assume that this stranger probably has at least one person they already talk to in some capacity. What you don’t want to know is who they are. The show made everyone aware of who the other woman or man was. I would never recommend that.
ME: Why not?
DB: Instead of focusing on the relationship for what it is, a competitive element is added. You are no longer interested in being your full self. You just want to be better than the other person.
ME: That’s an excellent point. Someone would have to be really self-aware to not allow that knowledge to impact their dating experience. What’s a common theme you find when helping people with dating.
DB: The most common thing people experience is inconsistency. Women and men both say, ‘They started this way and then they changed.’ A woman will start with ‘good morning’ messages and then they stop. A man will seem interested and then go ghost. Most relationships that offer consistency tend to last longer than any that don’t.
ME: I definitely encounter the same conversations in my line of work. Would you say you are consistent and ready for love in your life?
DB: I’m open and ready for love. Like most people who are, I have had enough experiences to know what I want in my life and my partner. I’m not ready just to date but also ready to settle down.
ME: Would you be as ready for love in DC? Is dating in other cities different?
DB: My closest 8 friends in DMV are all around the same age and are married or dating seriously. My closest 8 friends in Atlanta can’t find good dates to even call it a date. So, I do believe the mindset of the city has a lot to do with the success of the relationship. Personally, I get approached whenever I’m in the DMV area, but I can’t pay a man to approach me here.
ME: While you are looking for love yourself, tell me about the ideal woman you are helping?
DB: Most of the women who find me are 39-51-years-old. The men their age are coming out of a divorce or separation. The men who weren’t married were players and want to settle down and have kids. These women already have kids and are ready to live their lives again. So the men go looking for younger women.
ME: So what advice do you give these women?
DB: Stay focused on loving yourself. Do work on your part. Make yourself approachable and attractive. What is meant to be will be. It can feel scary to wait. All of my friends are beautiful, successful, and intelligent and have the exact same struggle. If you do the work, it will come back to you. Love within. Look within. Partner with someone for the parts of them that can’t change. Don’t rest. Keep your options open. Have fun and laugh.
ME: Let me ask one more question: What type of man attracts you?
DB: He needs to be loyal and honest. He doesn’t have to be rich, but his finances should be in order. He should be goal-oriented and be able to keep a conversation going with a sense of humor. He has to be my height or taller. Other than that, the physical varies because the internal qualities matter.
Stay tuned for Devyne’s brand new podcast, “Temporary 4ever”, which will be centered around the entertainment industry airing soon.
Great interview and awesome advice from Ms. Devine!! Thank you.