I really don’t know how much longer I can stay married. My mother-in-law hates me and she shows it every chance she gets. My husband and I was a tourist from Atlanta passing through Jean Lafitte, Louisiana. My ex-roommate wanted me to see her hometown. My husband and I met and really hit it off and for about a year and a half maintained a long distance relationship, taking turns visiting each other every month and talking on the phone every other day. I really loved him–I still do. However, when I moved there to be with him his mother was not happy. She doesn’t feel I fit in with his family because I’m educated and a lawyer. The women in his family are housewives or retired. She says I’m boojie because I don’t like frog legs, gator, squirrel, rabbit, or a lot of the “local cuisine” there. My husband does, and he is allowed to cook and/or eat it himself, but when I make food it’s for he and I to eat. So I’m going to make what we both like.
On holidays all the women (including her other daughter-in-laws), except for me, are allowed in the kitchen to help cook or prepare food. She won’t even let me boil rice. My husband suggested I cook a meal she likes so I made some gumbo with rabbit meat in it. Something I know she likes and even followed her recipe. She really enjoyed it until she found out I cooked it. Then I witnessed her pouring it down the garbage disposal…my heart broke…My husband stood there laughing and shaking his head. Not once did he speak up for me. I’m not sure what else to do. I’ve tried talking with her, reasoning with her, and compromising. Nothing works. I left my whole family to be here with him. Maybe it’s time I move back to Atlanta.
***Absurdly Bothered, there is nothing absurd about how you feel. Your mother-in-law sounds jealous, petty, and hateful. Honestly, I think a lengthy vacation to Atlanta is just what you need to clear your head and figure out your next move. However, before you go on sabbatical let your husband know how you feel. Remind him of his marriage vows, and the little line where he promised to keep you “for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?”
While you’re away really take your time to consider your options and consequences. If your husband is not going to speak up for you, then I see a situation that will only worsen. Just think about how things would be if you had children? Would she alienate them too because of you, or try to under mind your position as their mother? All of these are things to think about. Darling, you’ve got some thinking to!
☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡