I am wondering what is my next move with the guy I’m currently dating. We have been dating for two months now and I want to step things up. When we are together we are usually going out somewhere, or with friends, and now I’d prefer a more intimate setting like my home, or his. He will come into my house to pick me up or say goodnight, but he does want to sleep over, let me come over, or have sex.
He says he will let me know when the moment is right and that he wants to be the “aggressive one.” Now I’m not pressed or a slut, but a girl has needs. He and I have a great time together, but a good time just is not enough when I’m craving sex and to be touched. My ex-boyfriend has been hitting me up a lot lately. He is definitely a jerk, especially when compared to my current guy, but his sex was bar none! My current guy and I are not committed to each other yet. Should I dabble with my ex and just continue seeing him. AGAIN, not trying to be a slut!
-Vexed in Chiraq
***Vexed in Chiraq, there is no need to worry, I will not slut shame you; and that term definitely should not apply to this situation. You’re obviously a woman who knows what you want and when you want it; and there is nothing wrong with that at all. However, other people also have the right to move at their own pace and comfort level. There could be any number of reasons that he does not want to have sex yet; i.e. abstinent, low sex drive, not in the mood, ad infinitum.
Since you two are not committed, and if you are really wanting to have sex, I would suggest SAFELY feeling your needs with someone else. NOT with your ex, however! He’s your ex for a reason, and he should stay that way. It’s 2016, and it is a woman’s right to choose who and when she has sex. I’d advise you to let this sex buddy be someone you know you will not fall for, and keep things as light and casual as possible. Good luck!
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