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Hey Mikey- “Eggplant Envy”

Hey Mikey- “Eggplant Envy”

Hey Mikey,

I’ve got an embarassing issue my man, but I gotta talk to someone about it. Pretty much my son is sixteen…and hung. Hung as in he’s well endowed. I learned that when my girlfriend accidentally walked in on him naked in his room. I constantly tell him to lock his door when he’s naked but he doesn’t listen. The other day I overheard my girlfriend and her best friend talking about his penis and comparing it to mine. According to her, I don’t measure up, but I have experience on my side. Then she told her friend she’s had dreams about his penis and starts laughing about it. I tried to brush it off like it wasn’t  anything, but last night it really hit me.

So we were watching tv and cuddled up on the sofa when my son comes downstairs in basketball shorts and you can see his dick print or eggplant as girls call it now. I grab him and make him go upstairs because I saw her looking at it. I talked to him about what is going on, but he still doesn’t feel like he’s wrong. She thinks I’m wrong for listening to her conversation. I don’t know what to do with all this…help me man…

-Scared Dad


***Scared Dad, you aren’t fearful, but you are insecure. Your son’s penis isn’t the issue here; it’s your girlfriend’s inappropriate reaction to it that is the real problem. He is sixteen–meaning he is still a child! He has no control over the size of his penis but your girl does have control over her words and what she looks at on his body. She is clearly aroused and that is not cool. It’s called pedophilia. If you were a woman and this was your boyfriend staring at, and making comments about, your daughter’s breasts it would be a done deal. Be wise sir; you can get another girlfriend but your son cannot have another father. Be true to yourself and him! Oh and briefs will help with his hard to hide eggplant issue.

☆Need advice? Simply leave your question in the comments section of this post, or email me at  HeyMikeyATL@gmail.com. Be sure to pick a pen name! Thanks for checking me out! -Mikey ♡


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