How to Nail Your LGBT Proposal

Proposals, like love come in all shapes, colors, and sizes. Let this be your guide to pulling off your partner’s dream proposal without a hitch. 

Lovers of Life, as much as LGBT people want equality, there are some things that will never be quite the same as “traditional” relationships. There are no set rules for planning your proposal. While it’s nice to have a blueprint on how things should work, there’s more fun in carving out a path that fits your relationship. When it comes to marriage proposals, you get a chance to express the uniqueness of your love connection. Let’s look at how a few LGBT couples proposed and see what captures your attention.

A. Harris Photography

Be Creative – Kayla + Loren

“The photographer Albert and I came up with the idea for me to propose on the Hogwarts Express [at Universal Studios]. My fiancée Loren (who uses they/them pronouns), ever the planner, was furious that we were skipping all the attractions on the itinerary we spent hours planning just to ride the train. They didn’t speak to me the entire time in line! Finally, we sat on the train, and Albert motions for me to sit next to him across from my fiancée. As he is setting up this very obvious and huge camera (Loren still hasn’t caught on!) he sneakily texts me, ‘Now.’ I lean in slightly and Loren is shaking their head saying that I was in the way of Albert taking his tourist pictures! I couldn’t help but laugh because they didn’t even know the half of it. I finally get down on one knee with the ring in the chocolate frog box and start my proposal with, ‘Are you still mad at me?’ Loren puts it all together, starts to tear up, and we’ve been happily engaged ever since!” ― Kayla S.

Story & Gold

Be Sentimental – Jan-Kristòf + Kellan

“Kellan planned to invite a group of our friends up to Rainbow Mountain Lodge in Pennsylvania to propose to me in front of everyone. However, he changed his mind, thinking that I would probably be upset if I knew that our friends were coming to stay with us during our anniversary weekend. The day after we got there, we hiked up Resort Point Overlook, where Kellan planned to propose at the top of the mountain with the sunset in the background ― except that he forgot the ring! Moments like this honestly remind me how much I love our lives; we just truly keep each other entertained. We went back to the hotel room, where he presented me with this box of photographs, which were a collection of the most memorable places we have been in the last 10 years, and notes, which he had written our story on. He then got on his knees and popped the question with the ring in hand. The picture of him kneeling was for the engagement pictures taken in Central Park in New York.” ― Jan-Kristòf Louis-Mansano

A. Harris Photography

Be Normal –  Quinn + Evelyn

“June 18, 2018, is the day that will forever be my best. It’s the day that Evelyn sat next to me with a wine glass of lemonade and a mouth full of turkey sandwich while I nervously watched in anticipation of asking the most important question I’ve ever asked in my entire life. My heart was beating 1,000 times a minute and Evelyn was finishing her lunch ― I was way too nervous to eat anything. I finally got on one knee while pulling out my handmade sign and the ring and asked Evelyn, ‘Will you marry me?’ With a very surprised look and tears coming to both our eyes, Evelyn spoke the most important word that I have longed to hear for so long: ‘YES!'” ― Quinn S.

Be Yourselves – Juan + Gee

“We are not traditional guys, so it makes sense that nothing about our nuptials was traditional either. No one actually proposed to the other, there wasn’t a huge wedding ceremony, no requisite trip down the aisle, nor was there a gigantic reception with an open bar and long-lost cousin’s line dancing into the wee hours of the night. One day we just kind of, well, decided to tie the knot.

It was nearing the end of summer 2009. We’d been together a little over a year, had been living together for about six months, and were blissfully enjoying life. One morning, having just stepped out of the shower, a dripping wet Juan said to me, ‘We should get matching ring tattoos.’

‘But that’s forever!’ I responded.

‘Exactly!’ he said.

That was that. We eloped to Darien, Conn., two months later. On Oct. 23, 2009, our love was validated—at least in the eyes of the then nine states where gay marriage was recognized—in a magical beachside ceremony. We found a sweet, kind, grandmotherly Justice of the Peace over the internet that set everything up for us. We flew to New York City on a Thursday, took a train to Connecticut at noon that Friday, she picked us up from the station, took us to the courthouse to complete the paperwork, drove us to the beach for the ceremony and before we could say ‘I do’ we were back on the train headed to NYC for the honeymoon!” ― Gee Smalls

Common Themes to Consider

The Ring

We all know the classic proposal image of a man on bended knee.  LGBT couples have the luxury (and very often do!) of completely upending this tradition. When it comes to gay proposal ideas for LGBT couples, an engagement ring doesn’t have to be the centerpiece. If you’re thinking about proposing to your partner, think about their personality and what would best express your relationship up to this point. If their the type to go for an elegant band, then it’s time to go ring shopping. Otherwise, consider a dream trip with a luxury watch or even a handmade token of your love to present at the proposal.

If you are going ring shopping, do your homework. Learn the difference between platinum, white rose gold and titanium, deciding which fits best with their style for customizations or engravings. Consider going ring shopping at least once before you pick out the ring. This way, you can covertly find out their ring size and feel out what they like best. If you are close to their friends, get them in on gathering information for you. 

The Surprise Factor

Don’t be afraid to bring up the proposal. While the proposal itself is often a surprise, start talking about marriage with your partner. Don’t be shy in asking them how they envision being proposed to, or whether they’d prefer a public or private affair. Of course, they’ll know you’re fishing for proposal ideas, but the exact who, when and where is still in your hands. If you decide to surprise your partner, let it be one they appreciate and you don’t regret.

Privacy

In this heavy social media era, many people have opted for private, more intimate proposals. Please keep your partner in mind as you plan your proposal. Are they an extroverted, social butterfly who desires to share life with friends and family? A big party may be right up their alley. Are they shy, but has a very close-knit group of friends? An intimate dinner proposal with their nearest and dearest might be the way to go. Or, are they the type that would cringe at having to say ‘yes’ in front of anyone but you? A romantic proposal with just the two of you is in order.

The Memories

Now that you have the perfect surprise proposal planned for your partner. You need to capture the memories to share with your friends and family. You can hire a professional photographer to capture the moment. They will be your masters of stealth! Maybe that’s not in your budget after that beautiful ring. Ask a close friend with a nice camera or even a great smartphone to be on photo duty. Trust me, you don’t want to miss that bended knee moment!

The Simple Truth

Proposals can be overwhelming, especially with the pressure of wanting to get it just right. Take a deep breath. This is the love of your life. You know them. You’ve spent the intimate time learning what makes them smile, laugh and cry. Now, you have the catch to make another memory with them that they will never forget. You deserve the best moment possible. So make the moment magic!