It can be a pretty daunting task when you don’t know where or how to start. Your love life can look like a messy garage, creating stress that impacts every facet of your life. You deserve to live a joyful, stress-free life of love. So, here are five ways to declutter your love life now:
Most of what hinders us in present and future love is past pain. We hold on to the disappointments from exes, the neglect from absentee parents, and the betrayal of close friends. Preserving the emotions of those events also retains their negative energy. That energy is toxic, occupying the space for any positive energy to fill.
Free yourself of the energy that is blocking you from real love. Forgive the people who caused you pain, even if it’s yourself. Release the resentment, and pardon people from their penalties. Love is too positive to have so much negativity around.
The older you get, the more you realize that not everyone is essential to your life. That sounds harsh. But decluttering has a straightforward agenda: Remove what isn’t required to make room for what is necessary.
The “people” conversation is always sensitive because they are people. They have emotions, family, goals, and those oh, so sexy parts. Yet, that can’t be enough going forward. Someone who offers no energy to your life might as well offer negative energy. To achieve your goals and accomplish your dreams, you need positive people around you. These people help you grow, bring you joy, and replenish your energy.
Don’t argue. Resist confrontation. Simply release. The more positive people that surround you make it more difficult for the negative ones to find space.
Your love life needs as much attention as your place after a big house party. It’s only natural after so many people have passed through it. Some things got broken, drinks got spilled, and people overstayed their welcome.
Now it’s time to clean it all up. Remove and replace anything that is not beautiful or useful. This may sound simple, but it has a major impact. Switch out those used candles for new ones, change the aroma in the house, and change your sheets. Nothing in your physical space should remind you of a past negative experience.
Let’s switch to your phone and laptop. Delete. Delete. Not archive. Delete. You need to remove the old reminders from your devices: numbers, pictures, and conversations. It may sound extreme, but consider how many feelings bubble up when you see any of them. You have the power to create a safe space for love to grow in your life.
The longer you look for love the easier it gets to justify reckless behavior. You see your chances of meeting Mr. or Ms. Right diminishing. You settle for a quick fix: a one-night stand. That may turn into friends with benefits with an understanding that the encounter is merely sex and nothing more.
Now, remember this conversation is about decluttering your love life. Yes. Plenty of people date people while on several dating apps and with a Little Black Book of several dozen names and numbers. It is possible to juggle your love life, but you are reading to declutter it.
All of those encounters become a never-ending game that feeds your ego. “How many people think I’m attractive?” “How many people want to take me out?” “Who thinks I’m sexy today?” The simplest love life statement is: “This (one) person thinks I’m beautiful, sexy, and wants to go out with me.” If you feel like your love life is like a game, it probably is.
There is a small part of our modern culture that loves drama. If you don’t believe me, think of how many reality shows you have watched in the last year alone. We crave it. The bad boy or girl is desirable. The stability of an independent woman or an educated man doesn’t feel sexy.
It’s time to declutter. That is all messy thinking. You may need to take time and detox by not dating anyone. It’s okay to take time to reconsider your behaviors, rethink your beliefs, and reexamine your activities. If they don’t bring you joy, love, and romance, they should be tossed out.
When you are at peace with yourself you can love someone else without judgment or conditions. You can fall in love with a geek or a freak. We are human beings, not human doings. We are mutli-faceted, diverse individuals that don’t fit one mold or title. You have to be willing to take chances. Try new positions and new types of people to find the love that fits.
The Simple Truth
It’s easy to be overloaded with dating apps that offer no substantial conversations. It’s even easier to commit your time to people who aren’t emotionally available and don’t have your best interest at heart. That’s all clutter. It’s time to free yourself to receive the love you deserve.
To know what you need in your life, you must rid yourself of what you don’t. Decluttering removes all the people, places and things that you might need “someday” from your life. If you’re ever uncertain of what to release, question the intention and let go of what no longer serves you for where you’re going.
Decluttering will give you more space to do what you love and find the love that matters.