What are you supposed to do when you feel like you’ve given someone all that you have to offer and still it just isn’t enough?
Remember, the John Legend song ‘Used to Love You’? That’s a great example of what we’re getting at here:
Baby, It’s me… Maybe I bore you
No, No it’s my fault cause I can’t afford you
Maybe baby Puffy, Jay Z
Could all be better for you
Cause all I could do was love you
When you feel like you’re giving more in the relationship than your partner, you should see a red flag–don’t confuse you giving more with you both giving in different ways and areas of the relationship–be sure to know when your partner is giving you all that they can offer and NEVER compare what they are giving you to what someone else gave you in a separate relationship! That is a set up for failure in itself. If you don’t appreciate the person you’re with for what they do without validating they’re actions based on someone else’s… you shouldn’t be with them. Period, point blank. It doesn’t mean you should hate each other or end on bad terms. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to let the friendship within your relationship continue to live on even if the relationship doesn’t.
If you’ve never heard it before, hear it from me… you are somebody’s everything. Don’t feel obligated to settle for things are great because things are PERFECT is out there somewhere. You should love the person you’re with for everything that comes with them. Everything being their annoying habits, their appearance, their values, their imperfections, their strengths, their weaknesses–everything that makes them up as a being. Keep in mind that a relationship is a two-way street. It doesn’t work if you feel this way about them, but they don’t feel this way about you–that’s another red flag. COMMUNICATION IS KEY. You should be comfortable communicating that you’re not feeling appreciated. You should be comfortable communicating anything you feel you both need to talk about.Without that, you don’t have the tools necessary to progress.
If any of this is ringing a bell, it’s time to say sayonara! You should get out what you put in. For some, it will be hard to accept the fact that your best isn’t enough. I understand. Take it with a grain of salt. Remind yourself that your best is the best to someone out there. “Unless it’s MAD, PASSIONATE, EXTRAORDINARY love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. LOVE should not be one of them.” Don’t settle for ‘things are good’, because ‘things should be GREAT’.