Everybody yearns for love (even us fellas….eventually). The wanting to intertwine with another soul, to create priceless moments side by side with someone who genuinely loves and knows everything about you, even the things you don’t know or love about yourself. Even more now that social media casually tosses it at our feet to constantly remind #TeamSingle of how glamorous our lives are until the bars close and the lights go off in our bedrooms. Many of us look to Bey and Jay, Kanye and Kim, random Tumblr hipster couples on the web and say “Aww I want this type of love! #RelationshipGoals.” But are these the goals that we really want to base our love-life on?

There was once upon a time in the Jurassic Park age where couples didn’t have social media to exhibit their love on a large platform. The only way you knew Betty Sue and Chuck were still living under the same last name is if you saw them come in to church together on Sunday morning hand-in-hand. This was a time when relationships were actual relationships and not sitcoms. The storylines between two people flourished behind walls of love, trust, and loyalty and left the outside world, outside, so much that there wasn’t even enough soil to plant a single bud of assumptions or rumors.

In this generation, it is the complete opposite. It is not official until it goes up on social media. “Oh you think he/she loves you? Then why ain’t you on his/her Instagram page, huh?” Then thoughts come into forms like “well why ain’t I on his/her Instagram page? Why is he/she hiding me? Does he/she really love me?” And there it begins! Insecurity, scrutiny, trust-issues built off of nothingness all because of a social media scavenger. The scavengers are just patiently circling the sky waiting to create drama. Your innocent tweets become sneak disses or hints of an unpleasant war with your partner, pictures at the bar become evidence of infidelity. Your walls of love have been infiltrated by social media scavengers that YOU let in.

Today, people plaster their lives all over social media for the world to see. The sick part about this is that, people actually love doing it; they welcome that kind of attention. Why? Because we know how it makes us feels when we see Beyoncé and Jay-Z stunting together on a lavish yacht; we love seeing Kanye and Kim matching each other’s fly; we love watching Miguel and Nazanin post pictures with matching Rolex watches and red bottoms. People idolize these celebrities and their relationships. Most people want to be just like them…and that is the problem.

We become more consumed in the glitz and glamour of looking the part, we forget that love has nothing to do with matching Range Rovers and Air Jordans. People begin to treat having a significant other like a hot purse or a new watch: an accessory. It becomes more of a “Baby let’s take pictures in our matching shirts and stunt on these hater” and less “What makes you happy? What is your perspective on life? How can we help each other evolve into better human-beings?” If your three-thousand followers can’t see it, then it doesn’t matter; it isn’t important. That is why so many relationships flutter after a few months or so. They lack substance. They’re built off things that do not last, that’ll be out of style or in the trash next season…along with the relationship.

Let’s get back to the basics. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a couple stunting together; however do not think that his and her Balmain jeans are going to keep your relationship together. Dig deeper for a more soul-fulfilling bond. Take a break from social media and find out who you are as individuals and how well you mesh as one entity, or even better, leave your relationship off the web all together. There is a reason a relationship is only for TWO people. You wouldn’t want to share your personal space with all of your followers would you? Your relationship is your personal space. It’s ok to let them sit in the living room but, never let them in your bedroom.