Written by: Langston John Blaze
After I had stopped dating Josh, a friend of a friend I met at my 25th birthday party, I chilled from dating and started concentrating on myself and work again. It’s funny. When you start a new relationship (I.e. the one you need to have with yourself) there’s always someone from the past who wants to creep their way into your love life. For me, his name was Gavin Davis. Gavin was the late twenty-something year old superior from my new job. I’d seen him around quite a few times and liked his demeanor as a superior and his overall friendly goofy spirit.
Yet, after I built up the nerve to invite him to my book signing party, Gavin flaked on showing. When I asked him about it, he acted as if it were not a big deal. I decided not to play the game of hard-to-get especially at work. I didn’t want to confuse the state of wanting love with wanting a check even more. Besides, why risk it? Was he worth it? No! So I moved on. But had Gavin? When it comes to men, we want you the most when you do not show any interests. The moment the chase dies, so does the hunt. Yet with some men, you have to beware of the “Do I still have it?” game. This is when a man will engage in conversation with someone who appears to like them only to see if they still have “game”; away of simply stroking a man’s ego.
Gavin came and spoke to me for longer than expected during my lunch break. I expressed that he was wrong for agreeing to accept my invitation to my exclusive book signing party and not showing up. Nonetheless, Gavin felt since I wasn’t his man, he had no obligation to show. Little comments like this showed me that Gavin was every bit of man I thought he was. He was a diva. Instead of claiming whatever he liked about me, he wanted me to throw myself at me so he could look superior to my feelings.
Although he was the boss at work, Gavin could not boss my actions when it came to dating nor being interested in someone. Actions speak louder than words. My actions spoke when I invited him to my party to get to know him. That showed interest. If Gavin wanted anything from me, it was time to put himself on the line. The main thing that I’d learned from dating men is that you can’t allow yourself to get too excited about them. We get excited about graduating school, paying a debt, finding a new job, getting a new house or car, or promotion. But men? Like college, you can spend four years loving a man, studying what to do to pass, and working your butt off to do better than all the rest. Even with that, a man can still fail you and walk away. Where’s the gold star or reward in that?
When it comes to matters of the heart, we are our biggest superior. Gavin was sexy, funny, professional (sometimes), and overall, an interesting person with a lot to say but too busy making an effort to make me squirm. Between work and finding love, I could go for not finding it where business was a greater reward. The superior crush was a superior waste of time; well, at least for now…